HOW THEN DO WE GRIEVE?
Grieving is universal. It is something each of us will face at some point, and many of us have had to face multiple times. One loss may trigger a grief response from prior losses. In other words, grief is cumulative. But that isn’t all bad. We can draw from prior experiences to help us through current ones. The following are some suggestions to keep in mind as you grieve past, current, and future losses. When we refer to David’s lament recorded in 2 Samuel 1:1, 17-27 after the loss of his best friend, Jonathan, and to many of the Psalms we see a pattern that can be helpful in our own walk through grief.
David lost his best friend. He wants to hear WHAT happened. It is helpful to work through in our own minds what happened in our particular loss.
Secondly, David takes action. We need to take appropriate action. This step is quite individual. What helps you? We need to mark our grief, our sorrow, even our anger. What rituals are helpful to you? Worship, prayer, reading the Psalms or the Book of Job, journaling or recording your thoughts. Ann Weems wrote a whole book of her own Psalms.
Thirdly, give yourself permission to grieve and as much time as you need. Grief doesn’t happen in a linear fashion. You will move back and forth from stages such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Fourthly, don’t try to go through your sorrow alone. Call on others for support. Seek a listening ear. Explain to others that you don’t need a lot of advice, just someone to be there (see Job and his “friends”!)
And always, ground yourself in your relationship with God. Jesus calls us friends; so lean on God to hear your cry and to heal your pain. Know that tomorrow will be a better day. The sun will shine again.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” This is for you!
Lucia
